One of my patients suddenly passed away this week. That’s not totally abnormal, as I work in a large cancer center and cancer is a horrible, painful, and constantly changing disease. This is my first Christmas season working here however, and the seemingly senseless pain that my patient’s family will now experience….hurts.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.”

Why? Why couldn’t my patient have one more Christmas with their family? Life isn’t fair, they say, but why must it also be cruel?

The phrase “Merry Christmas” never totally felt right for me. Merry seems an older word that’s a bit outdated in modern English. Other cultures say “Happy Christmas,” which makes a bit more sense, but it still doesn’t quite fit. A Christmas carol I also thought was always old and outdated, was God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. I think that’s because of the music however; it simply sounds Victorian. But listening to Bing Crosby sing it this year, I think it’s what the world, especially myself, needs right now.

Let nothing you dismay/ Remember Christ our savior/ Was born on Christmas day/ To save us all from satan’s power/ when we were gone astray/ tidings of comfort and joy

This seems the carol with the most truth in it this year. The world has suffered in immeasurable amounts and telling the world to be Merry or Happy this year seems trite and disregards that suffering. Telling us “next year all our troubles will be out of sight” is blatantly untrue. But wishing Comfort and Joy seems good. It seems to fit. It doesn’t diminish what we’ve experienced. It acknowledges the suffering, the pain, that we are all feeling.

My wish for each of you, my hope, my begging prayer to God this year, is that everyone experiences some Comfort and Joy in this dark night. I pray if you truly have a Merry and Bright Christmas, that you use that brightness to spark some Comfort and Joy in others. We can’t help the unfairness of life, but we can ease the cruelty of this life for others.